Hyperextend and Release

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. -- T.S. Eliot

Let me start by apologizing to my two loyal readers -- I've been meaning to update this for a few months now, but I didn't know what I wanted to say, and I didn't have the time to say it. Also, let me apologize to you now in advance for this entry -- four months of thoughts in one post is bound to get long and messy.

In November of last year I picked up two part-time jobs, in addition to my full-time work. I had been randomly applying to interesting-sounding part-time jobs for awhile, then one day I found two; in hindsight, I should have bought a lottery ticket that day, since I ended up getting both. I was unemployed my first year out of college (and unable to collect unemployment) and as a result I still have a mound of debt, so I accepted both job offers and decided to work three jobs for as long as I could handle it.

One of the jobs is working as support staff for a Michigan Avenue clothing retailer. Not much brain-power required. I show up. Pick the clothes up off the floor. Place the clothes in the right location (and on the correct type of hanger). Smile at the customers. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Literally. In a four-hour shift, I've re-folded the same sweater more than 100 times. (Yes, I was bored and counted once.) Some days I'd compare the workload to running up a down escalator; try as hard as you can, you're not going to make much progress. But if you don't try at all, you'll be stuck on the ground floor with your shoelace caught in the grating.

It's completely different from my full-time job. No computer monitors. No ergonomically correct office chairs. Putting on my headphones and tuning everyone out is not an option. Oddly, more than once I've gone to this job in a bad mood, and by the end of my shift I'm happy. I'll give the music and decor of the store some credit for that. Most of the people I work with are kids who are either in college or recently graduated. They're interesting to talk to because I can relate to where they are. Underemployed? Been there. They have interesting questions to ask, and I hope I've given them good answers. Some of the other people I work with are like me; they have full-time jobs elsewhere. One girl is a chemical engineer. Another guy is a consultant. The education level of some of the people folding sweaters is surprising.

The other job is a work-from-home job. I watch videos that are being uploaded to the Internet and then write titles, descriptions, program summaries, etc. The subject matter is usually interesting and I've learned about some pretty random things: why London created the South Bank, how Anheuser-Busch brews beer, how enviromentalists in Asia are using Buddhism as a vehicle to encourage people to save the planet. I'll never forget the day I was paid to watch The Terror of Tiny Town.

The writing job is very similar to my full-time job. Reviewing online content. Stress over meeting deadlines. It reminds me of when I worked for a dot com. I'm finding that after using my brain all day, it's the last thing I want to do once I get home.

I think the first job is helping me to become a well-rounded person. It's forcing me to work on my people skills. It's reminding me that presentation is important. It's showing me that sometimes I get tunnel vision. Getting the work done is important, but it's not always the top priority.

I think the second job is not good for me. It's adding more of the same to my plate. More stress than my full-time job, for less pay. The day I turned into a cranky old man and yelled at my neighbor for making too much noise -- I wasn't trying to sleep; I was working. Although she's had that one coming for awhile; using powertools in your apartment after Midnight is never a good idea. I've come to the realization that what I've received in paychecks is less that what I've paid in units of my life. However, I now have a functional home office, which makes me better at my full-time job. I've learned a few other lessons as well, but I'll stop now before I start ranting.

That's enough on the topic of work for now. If you want more, watch Celebrating jobs -- all kinds of jobs: Mike Rowe on TED.com.

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In Janaury I took a trip to New York City. Courtesy of my full-time job, I flew first class. Once I landed I took public transportation instead of a taxi. That journey was the most exciting part of the trip for me; navigating my way around an unfamiliar city with only a map and a bus pass. It reminded me of when I first moved to Chicago; back when I didn't know that taking the Green Line to Chicago's south side (Stony Island Avenue and East 63rd Street) was a bad idea. Plus I've always been a fan of traveling like a local. I took a bus to Harlem, then tranfered to the subway. I saw a pretty broad range of people in less than a few hours, and feel pretty comfortable in New York City now. Once you know how to move around and which direction is North, you are liberated.

I met up with Jade who had a luxurious room at Le Parker Meridien. The first night we toured Midtown on foot and saw the Chrysler Building, the Empire State Building, Times Square, Grand Central Terminal and Rockefeller Center. My camera battery died pretty quickly, so I'll have to visit those sites again sometime. My friend Quebec lives in Brooklyn, so we met up with him for drinks and stayed out until the sun rose.

Next day started on a slowly; after finding some much needed coffee, we took the Staten Island Ferry to get a glimpse of the Statue of Liberty. After that we walked around the Financial District, I grabbed the bull by the balls, and we stumbled upon St. Paul's Chapel, which has been turned into a 9/11 memorial shrine. Quiet reflection ensued. That was the happy accident of the trip. Later that day we took a walk through Central Park to see the Bethesda Terrace and the Bow Bridge. There was some discussion about if the rocks in Central Park were landscaped and placed in specific locations, or if they are naturally occurring and in their original locations. I think they're natural, but I'm still not sure. Do you know?

We spent the last day of the trip exploring the Museum of Modern Art. Jade understands art and shares the knowledge, so I got more out of the visit than I would have if I had gone alone.

In February I took a trip to St. Louis for Mardi Gras. Some of my friends and roomates from college live there now, so it was a good weekend catching up with some of my brothers. The day started out with beer and eggs, and 14 hours later we were still standing. I got into a fight on the way home from the bar, and it's not a very good story. Essentially, someone was being a jerk, I over-reacted to the situation, and I got punched in the face as a result. I was wearing my eye glasses (with an expired prescription) that day and I was too drunk to duck quickly. When the guy punched me, the lens of my eye glasses was pushed into my eye socket and it broke a bone; when that happened, one of the nerves in my face was irritated. In the weeks that followed I went to the Emergency Room and a pair of specialists; the left side of my face was numb and I was seeing double. It's now seven weeks later and there are still some issues, but I'm around 95% healed. The nerve was plucked like a guitar string, and only time will make it stop vibrating and settle back to normal. The lesson I'm taking away from that is, being right is not always the most important thing. It's not my job to police the world. Sometimes I need to let go. Just let go.

There was a major layoff and reorg at my full-time job, which happened the Friday before Mardi Gras weekend. That Monday I went to work, met my new co-workers and bosses, and had the pleasure of explaining that I was 'in a bar fight' more times that I would have liked. Timing is not always my friend, and I do not always leave a good first impression.

As a result of that experience, I decided to quit drinking for awhile. After experiencing the excesses of Mardi Gras, living through the scarcity of Lent seemed appropriate. Also, I was training for the inaugural Illinois Marathon and I read that alcohol negatively affects muscle growth. I' haven't been able to train properly for the marathon and need all the help I can get. I haven't had a drink in 48 days now, and compared to quitting smoking it has been easy. Granted, I rarely go out to bars anymore; if I had tried this at age 21 it would have been more of a challenge. I have gone out with my friends a few times; if you want to experience being in the world but not of it, stay at a bar until closing time and stay sober. My friends started repeating their conversations, almost as if they suffered from Alzheimer's disease. Overall, not drinking the past few months has been good for me, but I'm looking forward to having a beer at the marathon finish line.

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Tomorrow is the marathon, my second, and the experience is not like the first at all. For my first marathon, I was stressed out and worried. Will I be able to finish? Can I really do this? The fact that I had tried two previous times and failed only made that worse. I'm not feeling that pressure this time around. I know that I can finish a marathon, because I already have. Even if something goes terribly wrong tomorrow, it will be okay. I don't need to prove anything to myself.

My next-door neighbor is a woman who has been running for over 60 years. I remember her telling me once that your first marathon is unique; after the first you start focusing on running faster and getting a better time, and that takes some of the joy away. I'm not feeling that type of pressure this time either. If I set a personal record tomorrow, I'll be pleasantly shocked. For my first marathon, I trained three days a week for over a year. For this marathon, I've been lucky to run two days a week; there were several weeks where, due to the workload and schedule of having three jobs, plus the inclement weather (winter in Chicago, enough said), I was only able to run once a week. That has me nervous. A marathon is like a mountain or the ocean; show the proper respect or you'll get maimed. I should have trained more, but I did the best I could. Tomorrow I'll find out if it's enough.

Hyperextend. Defined as the extension of a joint beyond its normal range of motion. My knees hyperextend, which is part of why I failed the first few times I attempted to run a marathon. Eventually I learned where my limiting points were. Three jobs is too much for me too handle. I've gone too far and now know more about my limits. After tomorrow's race, I get to take some time off from training. I also plan on quitting one of my jobs next week. Release.

Since I need to be at the starting line early tomorrow, I should end this here and try to get some sleep. View the photos from Winter 2009 and I should have another story for you soon!